As a mom, one of my biggest wishes is for my children to grow up feeling confident and comfortable in their own skin. This includes fostering a positive body image, something that’s crucial not just for girls, but for boys as well. But in a world obsessed with appearance, fostering positive body image can feel like an uphill battle. The good news? You have the power to be the hero in your children’s story, regardless of their age or gender. Here’s how I’m navigating this journey with my own toddler daughter and pre-teen son:
- Be a Body-Positive Role Model: Kids are like sponges, soaking up everything we say and do. Be mindful of your own language around food, exercise, and appearance. Ditch negative self-talk and embrace compliments with a simple “thank you.” When talking about others, avoid comments focused solely on looks. Instead, highlight their accomplishments and strengths.
Example: Instead of saying, “Ugh, I feel so fat after eating that cake,” try, “This cake is delicious! I’m going to take a walk later to enjoy the fresh air.” - Focus on What Bodies Can Do: From conquering the playground to building sandcastles, our bodies are amazing tools for exploration and fun. Celebrate your children’s physical achievements, big and small.
Example: “Wow, you climbed that tall slide all by yourself! Your legs are so strong!” or “Look how high you can jump! Your body is like a spring!” - Make Movement a Celebration: Shift the focus from exercise as a way to look good to a way to feel good. Find activities your children enjoy, whether it’s dancing, swimming, or playing tag.
Example: Organize family dance parties in the living room or plan weekend family swimming day or hikes exploring nature. - Diversify Your Bookshelf and Screen Time: Challenge unrealistic beauty standards by exposing your children to a variety of body types, ethnicities, and abilities in books, movies, and TV shows.
Example: Look for children’s books featuring diverse characters and storylines that don’t revolve around appearance. - Open Communication is Key: Create a safe space for your children to ask questions and express concerns about their bodies. Be honest and age-appropriate in your answers.
Example: If your daughter asks why someone looks different, explain that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, just like flowers come in different colors. - For my little one: I try to focus on what her body can do at this age. Toddlerhood is all about exploration. I encourage her strength and agility whenever she climbs, runs, and jumps. I say things like, “Wow, look at those strong legs that help you climb so high!” or “Those fast arms are perfect for throwing that ball!
- For older girls: Prepare her for the onslaught of media messages about beauty. Discuss the use of photoshop and unrealistic portrayals. Encourage her to focus on her inner strength and talents.
Example: Talk about female role models who are admired for their achievements, not just their looks.
For my growing guy: My pre-teen boy is bombarded with messages about masculinity that often equate it with physical strength and appearance. I weave these discussions into everyday chats. I casually bring up topics like strength, emotions, and what it means to be a good person.
We watch films that break stereotypes. Maybe it’s a superhero movie where the hero cries or a documentary about someone who fought for justice. These stories spark meaningful conversations.
Our boys absorb more than we realize. By challenging stereotypes and nurturing their emotional well-being, we are shaping compassionate, resilient men.
Example: Talk about male role models who are respected for their kindness, intelligence, and leadership.
You are the most influential role model in your children’s lives. By practicing self-acceptance, celebrating differences, and focusing on what their bodies can do, you will be well on your way to raising children who are confident and comfortable in their own skin.
Remember: Building body positivity is a journey, not a destination. There will be bumps along the road, especially during adolescence when social influences intensify. Be patient, supportive, and most importantly, believe in the amazing bodies and beautiful minds your children possess.
